Hamlet: Man delights not me—
Horatio: That’s not what you said last night, my lord.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: WHAT.
If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
Have u ever seen a photo post with like lots of real blood in it and ur like um ok whatever but why is there so much blood. like theres a lot of blood this looks like a murder scene stop taking pictures to put on tumblr and call the cops!!!!!!! or something!?????